Called Out

My parents are very calm people. Even in their discipline they were calm, it was almost scary. A lot of the reprimands and punishments from my childhood I have forgotten, but one remains with me always. I don't even remember exactly what I did to deserve it, but I clearly remember the voice of my dad saying, calmly and firmly, "You did wrong." A heavy lump dropped from my throat to my stomach, a guilt worse than any spanking.

Honestly, I don't know which was more painful: knowing I disappointed my father, or having my failure said aloud and exposed.

I have been reading a book along with the leadership team in Campus Christian Fellowship called Radical by David Platt. It has been a difficult book to read. In it, Platt points out that the American Dream and our purpose in Christ do not fit together. Being a follower of Christ does not mean we strive for a good job, nice house, and a long life of health and safety while we have a little church and prayer on the side. It is not looking to God to provide us with comfort and shying away from His command to go and make disciples. Platt talks about complete abandonment to the cause of Christ, and complete trust in His power instead of our own.

I have also been reading the Scriptures. Before I went home for my wedding, I challenged a group of students at Bible study to write down the gospel message, to know what it is and be prepared to tell people about it. So, taking my own advice, I set out to write down the core of the gospel message. As I looked through the passages that mention the gospel, I noticed many of them were about spreading the gospel to new places, no matter the cost. The apostles, and many Christians, have abandoned the lives they knew for lives of financial instability, physical risk, and greater joy and peace than they had ever known.

I think about these things and that feeling in the pit of my stomach comes back. I thank God for the times when he calls me out and says "You did wrong." But He also says "Let me make you right." I spent a lot of time thinking of God as an addition to my dream for my life, when God is the creator, center, and purpose in my life. I can chase the American Dream, maybe even achieve it. In a decent economy and with some luck I could have a good job, a good family, a happy life. But I would miss so much more, and death would sting.

God has been teaching me to make Him, and His purpose of reconciling the people of world to Himself, more and more the center of my life. And it just gets better and better.